IF YOU EVER STRUGGLE AND YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP WITH LIFE.....
Please read MY OWN STORY and you will see my own STRUGGLES in life ...
and I am still STANDING
Please read MY OWN STORY and you will see my own STRUGGLES in life ...
and I am still STANDING
STRUGGLES OF LIFE can destroy you and you give up inside - or it can make you to DIG DEEPER in God's LOVE FOR YOU so you can STAND TALL...
STRUGGLES that I personally encountered within my own life - but today I am still STANDING...
Because HIS LOVE never gave upon me as I searched to find JANES TREE in Him...
'Why' I struggled (and remember this is just a glimpse and not the whole story of my life - just a glimpse into my STRUGGLES of growing up in life)...
JANES TREE - My story of ME, janestree...
You can read these STRUGGLES that I posted below - about STRUGGLES CAN DESTROY YOU OR STRUGGLES CAN MAKE YOU DIG DEEPER INTO GOD'S LOVE
(My Journal Writing from Friday, January 8, 2012) - of my own personal struggles in life and HOW GOD helped me to OVERCOME AND HAVE VICTORY...
TODAY I AM STILL STANDING TALL... and I will NEVER give up on LIVING LIFE...
When I was in my deepest darkness of struggle, suffering from memories, suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder); struggling from wanting to commit suicide from these memories... (even attempting suicide).
The Lord told me that He look at me as 'Jane's Tree'... this was my writing in my Journal Writing in 2005 - during my darkest hour of being CHANGED in my heart of struggle of memories:
http://janefairchildblog.blogspot.com/2013/02/struggles-in-life-can-either-break-you.html
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
You see, one day I was praying (as I do daily) during this struggle in 2005, I asked the Lord - How do you see me, Jane...?
The Lord spoke quietly to my heart and said 'You are Janestree'... Jane's Tree - now what is this - am I a piece of hardness and stiffness...
No... not at all.
You see, as I started to search God for the meaning behind Janes Tree from Him - this is what I found.
Jane's Tree - had to start somewhere - and I started from a SEED that had been buried deep within my mother's womb... A seed that you would never be able to see for I was so small in size... Imagine ME, Janes Tree, once was a small seed that you could not even see... but YEP - that was ME...
But imagine, the WIND carries a small seed into your yard and the darkness and heaviness of this EARTH lays on top of this small tiny seed - planted below...
That small seed - DIES... and become dormant
No one can see that small tiny seed buried... but it is there.
That small tiny seed may be dead and dormant - but it is still there...
One day, the sky was so BLUE and the SUN (SON) broke out the warmth of HIS LOVE shining directly upon that small tiny seed that is dead and dormant and without any kind of form...
The LOVE from the SUN (SON) and the WARMTH from that LOVE shines brightly down upon ME as the small tiny seed - hidden from people's eyes - but seen by GOD..
Because of this warmth of great LOVE - this seed comes to FULL LIFE (RESURRECTED INTO LIFE)
This small tiny seed now sprouts up and out of the domain of heaviness and darkness... Think of the strength that is PUSHING UPWARD...
Here a small tiny seed - sprouting with life - OVERCOMING and PRESSING forward through the obstacles of heaviness and darkness... As it is Pushing forward to UNITE with this warmth and this LOVE...
This small sprout - so very weak in strength but yet so STRONG...
God sends HIS RAIN from HIS WORD down upon this small sprout... to bring nourishment to bring strength into the weakness of this small sprout...
Soon this small tiny sprout of LIFE - starts taking FORM of a branch that is pressing forward to BECOME the TREE that God called it to be in LIFE...
The STRUGGLES OF LIFE come - and the WIND becomes violent and whips this small branch of LIFE back and forth, back and forth, that you would think by the natural eye that this small BRANCH OF LIFE would soon break off from the violent STRUGGLES OF THE WIND coming against it.
But these WINDS (STRUGGLES) are what is needed for this small twig coming forth from the ground so that the TWIG does not depend on itself but the ROOTS go deeper and the ROOTS taps into a RIVER OF WATER...
Ephesians 3: 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Revelation 22: 22 Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb
The size of this tree shoot remains small - but the ROOTS are going so very deep... ROOTS that will hold on when STRUGGLES come and ROOTS that will still have me be able to STAND after LIFE STRUGGLES and the WINDS that want to destroy.
Then one day, before I realized it - I no longer was a small tiny shoot out of the ground but now I was this GIGANTIC LARGE HUGE OAK TREE nestled right next to this MIGHTY RIVER of God's LOVE AND MERCY and my ROOTS were so DEEP IN HIM.
Now, I have become a safe haven for others around me - as the birds build their security of nests within my branches, and the small living creatures scatter up my branches as this tree... I have become a SECURITY for others...
I also have become SHADE for others when it is a hot humid day and a person or an animal needs some shade to shield them from the heat of this world...
Today - you see JANES TREE...
A TREE for God's Glory.
A TREE of strength of God that came from great weakness of self.
A TREE with DEEP ROOTS into GOD's TRUTH, LOVE AND MERCY that can only be found through God's Word and reading it daily so that it is NOURISHMENT and gives me strength when the WINDS OF GREAT LIFE STRUGGLES come against me in LIFE...
This is what will make me STAND in the end
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
THIS IS WHAT JANES TREE is all about...
To God, He planted a SEED and my name is JANE and now He has taken my weakness and made me strong ROOTS in Him and now I am HIS - JANES TREE... for HIM to enjoy...
Yes, I am too open; Yes; I can make others uncomfortable when reading struggles I have gone through within my own life; and YES, I come across RAW - but this is LIFE - This is REAL for my own life (maybe not your life, but my life)... but after I share about my real
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to
stand your ground, and after you have done everything,
to stand.
TODAY I CHOOSE to LIVE LIFE for JESUS for I have learned through my own Life Struggles that the very source of TRUTH and real LOVE at one time in my life I pushed away in not wanting to know about God... But after truly embracing and taking Faith to TRUST God, I have learned about real TRUTH, a TRUTH that will hold you together in life; I have learned about REAL HOPE; REAL SECURITY IN LIFE; and true geniune REAL LOVE... This LOVE is unconditional... This LOVE is pure.... This LOVE will NEVER look at your failures or your mistakes or when you fall - but this LOVE I have found in my life is REAL for this LOVE is through the LOVE OF JESUS...
JESUS TRULY LOVES YOU AND ME...
JESUS WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU OR ME...
WE NEED TO LEARN TO NOT GIVE UP ON OURSELVES...
PRESS FORWARD TO LIVING ...
For me personally 'I AM STILL STANDING and PRESSING FORWARD TO LIVE LIFE'
If YOU are searching and trying to find your place in life. Having FAME, having MONEY, being POPULAR OR wanting to have many people wanting to be with you for fame and/or beauty, as the WORLD will never give you the WORTH of who you are as a person. In the WORLD you can feel good for possibly a moment of time - a feeling that comes through pleasures but pleasures that can destroy you. For these pleasures in this WORLD will only be temporary for filling you.. Such as pleasures of sex; pleasures of buying things; pleasures of fame or fortune; These pleasures you will never get enough and you will always want more and more - but can still come out with a COMPLETELY HOLE within your very soul of still not being happy in life or with life.
October 9, 1977 - I came to know Jesus as my Lord in my life
October 31, 1977 - I came walking in the doors of this Rescue Mission
December 26, 1977 - One day after Christmas - Mark did not even 'LOVE' me at that time but the Lord spoke to Mark's heart to marry me and cover me (as Boaz did with Ruth) Mark had saved himself for marriage and he made sure that we did things right before God before we married - he would not even hold my hand
February 18, 1978 - We married and are more STRONGER in our marriage today for TODAY Mark greatly loves me and I greatly LOVE HIM ...
.
We are TOGETHER FOREVER...
A LOVE made from HEAVEN by GOD....
ONLY GOD can do this....
Through the years of STRUGGLE in my own life, I learned that I was worth LIVING on this earth...
I have dealt with CLINICAL DEPRESSION for years... This depression is the one where a person wants to commit suicide.
SUICIDE is a final drastic means for a temporary problem. SUICIDE IS NEVER an answer for any problem for it affects your life permanently as there will never be another chance to live on this earth. It affects everyone, yourself, and especially those who love you.
I know - because I have walked in these shoes and struggled in wanting to 'get rid of Jane' for I felt for years that 'Jane was only in the way for others to be happy' so I wanted to get Jane out of the way so others would be happy.
If you struggle from thoughts of SUICIDE - do not feel ashamed but seek out a trusted friend and/or a professional counselor to hear your thoughts that you are holding in SILENCE. Allow your thoughts to be shared to someone that truly loves and cares about you. Do not feel that something is wrong with you for seeking help from those thoughts - for you are a person of great COURAGE when you take these steps in finding remedy to help you in life. Even if you have to take some form of medication to help you ... this does not make you a failure as a human being for it means that you want the BEST OF LIFE for yourself in taking care of yourself. Remember if had high blood pressure - you would take care of yourself by taking medication to help monitor your pressure; If you had diabetes you would take insulin to help monitor and take care of your body so you can go forward with LIVING LIFE... the same is said about if you need to take some form of medication for the function of another ORGAN in your body called your brain - to help you think better and more clearer and to go forward with wanting to LIVE IN LIFE.
In my own life God has set me free from this CURSE... but it took one step in front of the other in moving forward - even when I could hardly lift that one step to move forward - I pushed and I did for I wanted to LIVE LIFE... Today, I do take medication in helping this ORGAN called a brain to function the way it should. Today, I do talk to a professional counselor to help unravel my thoughts when they get twisted and need help to untie the knots. Today I have a couple of trusted friends that understand me and have time for me when I feel raveled within the confusion of my many thoughts. I am not ashamed for wanting to take care of myself.
What I share with you below is not to get any sympathy or pity or place things upon me to draw attention - for this is NOT MY INTENTION AT ALL. It also are things that happened in my life that truly are not having much affect on me today as I am being set FREE inside from these many struggles within my own life.
I share with you to encourage you for your life - so that you can see how I too have struggled in wanting to LIVE myself but how I am gaining VICTORY today.... But through sharing this with you I need to share a bit of my own history so you understand the DEPTH of what I have struggled with in life... and then maybe this will encourage you enough to get the help that you may need for your own struggles in life.
You can WIN and have VICTORY - for I have seen this from my own life in stepping forward....
Listen to this video as MUSIC ministers to my soul
God's love will never leave and will NEVER give up on you
Remember that STRUGGLES IN LIFE are not a bad thing... for there will always be STRUGGLES within life. But STRUGGLE can be good to make you stronger.
Think about a small tree.... If this small tree did not have the WIND pressing against it (STRUGGLES of life) to make it bend back and forth and at times a small tree can look as though it is going to break off when the WIND (STRUGGLES OF LIFE) are so strong... but these STRUGGLES FROM THIS WIND are needed for this small tree to grow deep roots that will tap deep from within. This causes great growth from the STRUGGLES OF THIS WIND... Someday this small ordinary tree will be a huge Gigantic OAK TREE and because of this small tree going through it's own WIND STRUGGLES of life and the roots are deep below and strong from those STRUGGLES - this tree will STAND TALL for years and years... and then as this TREE STANDS TALL for all these years it becomes a place of refuge for birds and small animals, and even provides shade to us... All because of the STRUGGLES FROM THE WIND that made it roots dig in even more to be able to WITHSTAND life's many struggles....
STAND UP TO LIVE LIFE.... STAND
SEE VIDEO 1, VIDEO 2, AND VIDEO 3 OF A STORY CALLED:
THE LEGEND OF THE THREE TREES (ANIMATED)
FROM STRUGGLES OF LIFE - TO NOT GIVING UP BUT STANDING
August 1997 - my elderly father and I went to my favorite cousins house on her farm for Daddy and I to have a heart to heart conversation of my life ... My two cousins stayed nearby to listen so I had witnesses of our conversation. It was not easy at all...
During this conversation I learned about ME... through my elderly father. I found out some very hard thing and it confirmed what I already knew ... but just wanted to hear from him.
When my mother became conceived with me inside her womb - she never had wanted me from the very beginning... She even sought out an abortion (as conveyed by my own father)... She tried hard to miscarry me and my father shared that she would literally throw herself down the stairs in hope that I would die inside her womb... I did not DIE... I HELD ON FOR DEAR LIFE - but I know without a doubt that GOD's hand held me in place in my mother's womb. When I was actually born - because of the stress on me inside my mothers womb, I was born doubled up as my buttocks came out first, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My father shared that my mother REFUSED to even look at me when I was born and when she went home she left me at the hospital and would not have anything to do with me. He came back to bring me home.
I raised myself all my life... never having my mother wanting anything to do with me throughout my entire life.
She abused me emotionally, mentally and greatly physically. She told me daily 'I hate you. I never wanted you in the beginning. I wish you were dead'... When she hit me, she would throw me on the floor, strap her legs over me, and hit me with her fists in my head over and over, and then she would say 'If I see one tear fall from your eyes, I will hit you even more'... I learned to go SILENCE AND DIE INSIDE and go PASSIVE during these demonic attacks of abuse from my own mother. But I PUSHED HARD TO LIVE LIFE.... episodes which were almost daily, I would take my Barbie Doll, my pet stuffed Lion, and my pillow, and crawl underneath my bookcase headboard of my bed and with almost suffocating myself I would cry into my pillow until I fell asleep underneath the bed.My father, he slept in my bed from the time I was 4 years old and molested me often when he slept next to me. But he was gone much of the time so I did not see him very often (except mainly weekends)...
My only sibling, my brother, he too molested me and when he first came home from Vietnam war he raped me. At that time I was engaged to a man and I became pregnant. I did not know if this baby was this man's baby or my own brother's baby. I felt so much shame. But I miscarried.When I was 14 years old, I would literally go up and down my street where our house was to try to draw attention of men driving down the street and I would wear clothing that drew attention of LUST from the men. My own mother purchased me clothes that were not good for a young girl to wear and my own mother thought it was 'cute' when I walked up and down the street to flirt with men.
But if I left DUST on her furniture - I got hit with her fists...
When I was 15 years old, it was the first week of summer from school. I went to visit a school friend 3 blocks away but went on the wrong day and the wrong time. Her door opened up with 3 men inside. One of these men was an older man that had just been released from Joliet State Prison the day before after spending over 20 years for murder and now he was out. He was celebrating his new release with two of his friends as they were drinking and taking drugs. I came at the wrong time. For you see, this man was that of a WILD CAGED ANIMAL that was no longer caged and in comes walking a young 15 year old girl... I was prey ... These men, convinced me to go down into their basement to see something but instead, they took a knife to my throat, tied me down, and raped me throughout the entire day. These men had even talked about killing me and where they were going to dump my body. Toward the end of the day, the two friends of this older man went out to get more beer, and this man untied me, and threw my clothes at me and told me 'you better get out of here while you can'. I ran outside putting my clothes on in front of passing cars. When I turned the corner, I became PASSIVE and in SHOCK and started SHAKING UNCONTROLLED... My biggest FEAR faced me ahead for I feared going back to my home where I faced my mother hitting me for being gone all day. This was my biggest fear facing me. So I STUFFED ALL THIS DOWN, never telling anyone until just a few years ago...
I WENT SILENT as I DIED once again inside. But I was DETERMINED TO LIVE LIFE....
I DID NOT DIE - I STRUGGLED BUT STILL MADE IT TO STAND AND TO LIVE
I married at 18 years old to get out of my mother's and father's house. But the person I married he too abused me further. This man, he saw prostitutes all the time and everything they had - this man gave to me in disease. I suffered greatly. But I remained FAITHFUL to this man - thinking this was the best I could have in life. But once again I always lived in GREAT SILENCE..... as Jane had learned to DIE INSIDE in order to survive and LIVE LIFE.
This man, took complete advantage of me in all things. I worked full-time and had purchased a brand new car - I had only one more payment and then the car title would finally be mine as I owned this car. At that time, this person I was married too - came to me with my car title from my bank and told me 'Jane, I am purchasing you a better and newer car - if you sign over your title then I can get it for you'... I TRUSTED... he purchased this new car alright - but this car was never meant to be my car for he gave this car to his new girlfriend (as he was still married to me)... That evening after he had done this (without me knowing anything) I was served divorce papers. I was so very TRUSTING... All I ever wanted in life was just to be truly WANTED and LOVED.
He divorced me and married this other new girl. But right after he married her, he wanted to see me again for sexual pleasures. He then 'BROKE ME DOWN' and he introduced me into prostitution as he had convinced me that this was what I was good for in life... He paid me for sexual favors whenever he wanted sex. He also introduced me to others.
Soon after this, I started drinking all the time and ended up meeting a man who sold drugs. I then got into taking drugs. This new man, Wylie, he was a part of an actual motorcycle gang called 'The Sons of Silence'... You can see who they are at this link:
At that time I was only 22 years old and felt my life was over and that all I was worth was garbage for others to eat from...
So, in case you would want to know 'why' I suffer with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Clinical Depression - this is 'why'.... This has been a hard road of suffering for me in overcoming but through God's LOVE, tender mercy, and God's grace I am being HEALED and I am WINNING and I am LIVING LIFE....
Now for the good news - the most IMPORTANT PART OF MY LIFE
GOD gave me the BEST when HE blessed me with being married to Mark Fairchild (Chaplain at Peoria Rescue Mission) This is MY STORY:
October 2, 1977
One day as I was walking in the pouring down rain at about 10:00 pm and going to my POST at Red Lion Inn Saloon... You see I wanted to be loved so badly that I would do anything to be held for a moment of time (Even if only a moment); and I got into prostitution as I was a completely broken woman, (like that of a dirty old rag doll that was thrown out in the street and the cars were running over me as that RAG DOLL)
I had no self worth as a human being.
I was soaked from the rain... (At that time I weighed about 100 pounds wet) and I ended up dropping to the sidewalk and cried out 'If there truly is a GOD out there somewhere , then get me out of this mess. Here I am, 23 years old, been married twice, and I feel as though I am over 80 years old. Rescue me out of this mess as I do not know how to get out''...
One week later, I went home with another stranger for the night, but the next morning was Sunday. I woke early and asked this person to leave.
I had a friend who now was a JESUS FREAK so I called him to come and pick me up and take me to church. He drove the Sunday School bus to pick up children to bring to church. I stayed with him while he was doing this and after he dropped off the last child that day - He wanted a heart to heart talk with me and asked me 'Jane, what are you looking for in life.'... I started crying and said 'I just do not want to be hit any more. I only want to be loved'... My friend guaranteed this LOVE for me if I would embrace the LOVE OF JESUS for my life.
I accepted JESUS as my Lord on that Sunday School bus and everything, and I mean everything became NEW FOR ME in life.
That was October 9, 1977.
On October 30, 1977 - I had been invited to a home church group and attended that evening. I had known a good man named Mark Fairchild a couple of years prior and this name came to my heart. I asked this group if they knew a Mark Fairchild. They all smiled and said 'yes, he usually is with us at this group, but tonight he is on call at Home Sweet Home Mission'... One of the girls gave me Mark's phone number and encouraged me to call him. October 31, 1977 - I called Mark. He remembered me and invited me to come and see him that evening. Mark shared God's Word with me and gave me supper (as I had not eat anything for 3 days)...
Mark was a Godly man. He had even saved himself for sex for marriage only to the right person that the Lord brought his way. He was a 'counselor' at Home Sweet Home Rescue Mission. Mark came from a very good family that only knew how to truly LOVE and support Mark.
At this time I was pregnant and had a scheduled abortion facing me ahead... This Home Church Group embraced me and helped me to make the decision to not have another abortion. But I ended up in the Emergency room facing death as I not only miscarried but I was in the very last stages of EVERY street disease possible and I was facing death's door. The doctor told me that if my treatments did not work, then they had no other choice but to give me all brand new blood by taking / draining out my old blood and giving me all brand new blood. But through great prayer the treatments with prayer and JESUS gave me the VICTORY of healing.
JESUS AND MARK were the only ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP ON ME AND STOOD BY MY SIDE
I DID NOT DIE -
I STRUGGLED TO LIVE....
and I STOOD,
even in all this I still
STOOD UP TO LIVE.
Soon after this happened, Mark took me to his home to meet his parents, brother and his family, and his grandmother on Christmas Day. I shared everything to Mark's parents privately and I told them straight forward 'If you do not approve of your beloved son, Mark, dating a woman from my SIN BACKGROUND, let me know, as I will respect and honor what you want for your own son.'
His mother started to cry and gave me a gift of a necklace of a beautiful CROSS... She told me 'Jane, when you wear this CROSS remember that JESUS forgave you and I have embraced you into our son's life. You are perfect for our son, Mark.'
Mark's parents and family became the parents and family I NEVER had in my life as a child. Mom use to say to me 'Jane, you are the daughter I always wanted and I thank JESUS that HE chose you to marry our son'...
Today, Mom is living at a Alzheimer's Home - but when I came to visit her - she gets a glisten in her eyes and she always says to me 'My daughter, I love you so much. God gave me the best when He put you in my life'. (Just like Ruth and Naomi - Mark's people became my people.)
(Note: This past fall 2012 - as we were cleaning out Mom's house, Mark's brother Timothy, he told Mark 'Let Jane have the first pick of what she wants from Mom's house as I want her to feel that she belongs to us as family'.... Tim then asked 'Did Jane get what she wanted'... This made me cry.)
The day after Christmas 1977 - as Mark I were in Rescue Mission Chapel having a Bible study at 11:45 pm that night - Mark asked me to become his 'bride'.. He did not even love me at that time but the Lord spoke to his heart to marry me and cover me... (As Boaz with Ruth in the Bible)... During that short time, Mark would not even hold my hand as he wanted to be sure that everything was pure before JESUS for our marriage.
The Lord spoke to Mark's heart and shared with Mark 'Are you able to cast the first stone about Jane in judgement'... 'I have forgiven her sins why can't you forgive her'... 'What I as God put together, let no man put you under (or talk you out of doing what I have called you to do)'...
We married February 18, 1978.
One week after we married at Mark's grandmothers church at Trinity Lutheran Church in Rockford (where Mark was originally from) - we came back to this same church that had questioned Mark with marrying me. The Pastor's secretary's husband called me aside and with his finger pointing in my finger he told me 'I will never approve of this marriage to Mark, as you are no good for Mark at all. How long is this marriage going to last before you destroy this one'.... This of course hit my core being... but I forgave this person and I walked forward in Jesus.... with my head held high.
I STOOD TALL... For God was for me...
At the time Mark was a Counselor at Home Sweet Home Rescue Mission and he made $79.00 net a month (You heard correctly on his salary.) We lived mainly on what I made at my job. But we had REAL LOVE and we were living on LOVE from GOD ABOVE.
(Note: At that time, February 1978 - we had no car and had to walk or take the bus wherever we went. We got back a tax refund and was able to purchase a beat up old Toyota but it ran perfectly. One week after we purchased this car - Mark came home from the Rescue Mission and said with tears in his eyes, 'Jane, a couple came to the Mission today. They have NOTHING. She has bad polio and has many doctor visits and he just got out of prison after spending some years in prison at Pontiac. She stumbles a lot because of the snow and ice. Could you give them our car so they will be blessed. I had NO PROBLEM at all. But this couple NEVER KNEW who gave them this gift. For we signed the title over, paid for this, we also signed over our License plates, and our 6 months of insurance in their names... and we dropped off the two keys and the title and the paperwork (without them ever knowing about us) at their front door and we included a letter written inside that shared of the LOVE OF JESUS for their lives and HE wanted them to be blessed in life. One day as I was walking down the street I looked up and it was this young woman driving our car that we had given them. I rejoiced and THANKED OUR LORD that He blessed them...
(This has been Mark's and my hearts toward God from the beginning of our marriage.)
At first it was hard and rough for Mark being married to me as I was all over the place... Even today, I still struggle at times but I have come a long way and today
I HAVE COMPLETE TRUST IN JESUS JESUS and I COMPLETELY TRUST MARK...
I was so broken but GOD through GOD's love through Mark's heart was restoring me to TRUST... and making me into a PRINCESS...
In My Brokenness
Throughout our marriage, Mark has only given this kind of LOVE poured out to me as his bride from Abba Father. He constantly tells me 'You are my treasure from God'...
When a woman has this kind of LOVE being poured out onto her - how can I not submit to this kind of LOVE.... for this kind of LOVE will never harm me, this kind of LOVE will only restore and give me LIFE... This is REAL LOVE...
Today our marriage is so very solid and good. Our marriage is based on God's Word, prayer, and commitment and today YES - Mark truly loves me.
He tells me every morning before he leaves for work - He wakes me, kisses me, and says 'You are my princess, I love you'...
Mark is my treasure in life.
Mark is my true God-given 'Knight in Shining Armor'.
On February 18th we will be married 35 WONDERFUL YEARS and 'No I did not destroy Mark's life' and we are STILL STANDING STRONG IN THE LOVE OF JESUS...
GOD never gave up on me with HIS LOVE...
God gave me the best in life for God gave me JESUS and God gave me my true God-given 'Knight in Shining Amour' with my own beloved husband of 35 years... We are TOGETHER FOREVER and it just keeps getting stronger and better - like an aging WINE that only gets stronger and better through age... This is our marriage... This is our LOVE.
God will NEVER give up on me... and I learned that Mark will NEVER give up on me either...
I KNOW, WITHOUT A DOUBT, that God will NEVER give up on anyone...
Today I am STILL STANDING and still PRESSING
FORWARD TO LIVE LIFE....
LIFE IS VALUABLE AND A TREASURE -
I CHOOSE TO LIVE....
_____ History of Rescue Mission Ministry ____
and see Jane when you read about it.
Our calling in God is Rescue Mission Ministry and we have been involved with this ministry work for 31 years ... Mark formerly had been the Executive Director at Albuquerque Rescue Mission in New Mexico and I worked alongside of Mark from 1989 to 2005.
Rescue Mission Ministry originally began in Scotland in 1826 as a Christian outreach to the poor of society. This ministry then traveled over to the nation of Australia where Britain sent their prisoners. Then this ministry traveled to America.
The Founders in America were Jerry and Maria McAuley. Jerry had been a part of the original gangs of NYC. Maria had been a prostitute and ran a brothel house of prostitution in NYC. They both came to know JESUS as their Lord, repented of their sins, and GOD made all things new in their lives. They married.
The prostitutes would attend the local churches but were shunned or asked to leave. So Jerry and Maria heard this need and every Sunday morning they brought CHURCH to them in the brothel houses and set up church services. The broken women would repent and embrace the love of Jesus but they had no where to live outside of these brothel houses as people would not rent to them because of their background. So once again Jerry and Maria heard the need and they went out and purchased an old warehouse building and they provided 24 hour day / 7 days a week, shelter, food, clothing, HOPE, and the GOOD NEWS OF JESUS CHRIST to thge broken women to come and live and be restored.
The first Rescue Mission that began in America through Jerry and Maria was called 'Bowery Street Rescue Mission'... Today it is called 'New York City Rescue Mission' and this work began in America in 1872. Today there are 100's of Rescue Mission Ministries throughout the world, including Israel.
See this link at: Jerry and Mari McAuley at: http://www.correctionhistory.org/html/chronicl/mauley/mcauley.html
A well known HYMN WRITER named Fanny Crosby - she was blind but she volunteered often at the Rescue Mission and she purposed to smell and sit right next to the most foulest smelling person off the streets to share about God's love and hope to that person. Please read about her at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Crosby
Rescue missions
Manuscript of Crosby's "The Rescue Band" (1895)
While Crosby will probably always be best known for her hymns, she wanted to be seen primarily as a rescue mission worker. According to Keith Schwanz: "At the end of her life, Fanny’s concept of her vocation was not that of a celebrated gospel songwriter, but that of a city mission worker. In an interview that was published in the March 24, 1908, issue of the New Haven Register, Fanny said that her chief occupation was working in missions.[79] Although, according to Schwanz: "Many of Fanny’s hymns emerged from her involvement in the city missions",[79] including "More Like Jesus" (1867);[246] "Pass Me Not, O Gentle Saviour" (1868);[247] and "Rescue the Perishing" (1869),[248] which became the "theme song of the home missions movement",[249] and was "perhaps the most popular city mission song", with its "wedding of personal piety and compassion for humanity".[250] Crosby celebrated the rescue mission movement in her 1895 hymn, "The Rescue Band".[251][252]
As Crosby had lived for decades in such areas of New York City as Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan, The Bowery, and The Tenderloin, she was aware of the great needs of immigrants and the urban poor, and was passionate to help those around her through urban rescue missions and other compassionate ministry organizations. Crosby indicated "from the time I received my first check for my poems, I made up my mind to open my hand wide to those who needed assistance".[253] Throughout her life, Crosby was described as having "a horror of wealth", never set prices to speak, often refused honoraria, and "what little she did accept she gave away almost as soon as she got it".[254] After her marriage, Crosby "had other priorities and gave away anything that was not necessary to their daily survival".[35] The Van Alstynes also organized concerts, with half the proceeds given to aid the poor.[255] Throughout New York City, Crosby's sympathies for the poor were well-known, but consisted primarily of indirect involvement by giving contributions from the sale of her poems, and by writing and sending poems for special occasions for these missions to the dispossessed, as well as sporadic visits to those missions.[256]
See video of music: "Rescue the Perishing" written by Fanny Crosby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gai0v2xLA5I
I am honored to be called to such a Ministry and that the Lord would choose me to reach out to the broken on the streets.
Mark, is the Chaplain at Peoria Rescue Mission today.
See the 2013 Video of Association of Gospel Rescue Missions at:
"COULD YOU SPARE A LITTLE HOPE TODAY"
I am not a no body... Please notice this person and do not just walk by
See video at:
s my STORY in life...
Please read my own writing of ME
WHO JANE IS -
A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH THAT GOD AND MARK FOUND BURIED IN THE COAL
http://janefairchildblog.blogspot.com/2011/09/who-jane-is-in-christ-and-through-eyes.html
Thanks for HEARING ME from SILENCE...
I AM STILL STANDING AND FIGHTING TO LIVE LIFE on this earth... and I have great VICTORY because of JESUS - for HE felt that I was WORTH it for Him to die so that I could gain LIFE ETERNALLY IN HIM... LIFE IS WORTH THE FIGHT ....
LIFE IS WORTH LIVING.... even in life struggles -
LIFE IS WORTH LIVING
I AM STILL STANDING...
Jane Fairchild
Yes, I am a NO BODY... probably the size of a lady bug in a huge gigantic Oak Tree where no body sees me but I am there...
But GOD sees me... and GOD even hears my SILENCE and GUESS WHAT - God accepts me just where I am today as I am forever changing before HIM...
(As I share with others... You know - I was born 100% human being... with great failures and great weakness in my flesh... and on this earth I struggle with this flesh as a 100% human being... (Just like King David , he struggled with his flesh and the sin born within man all the time as even King David, 'a man after God's own heart' failed, tripped up, fell down, committed adultery, had the husband of Bathsheba sent to the front lines of war knowing that this man would be killed, and David lied, and he too was 100% human - but God looked at David as a man after God's heart...
The difference with David 100% human and flesh was that David with his struggles would RUN straight into God's long arms of Mercy and Compassion to struggle and deal wit his SIN before God until David's heart turned back to God... This is what made David a man after God's heart...
So, Jane born 100% human, and Jane will die 100% human, as there will NEVER be one human being perfect except for ONE - and HIS NAME is above ALL other names as HIS NAME IS JESUS...
When I fail, when I fall down, when I make mistakes, when I act out in my 100% human being flesh... I run into the LOVING PROTECTIVE arms of JESUS who will CHANGE my heart in Him as I struggle with my own SIN before Him...
HE, JESUS, WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON JANE...
Love - a Lady Bug Friend in a huge gigantic Oak Tree nestled next to the FLOWING RIVER of God's Mercy from His Throne...
Me, Jane
Not maybe seen by your eyes as having any worth or value... but seen by GOD's eye of great worth and value - HIS TREASURE - A diamond made out of dark dirty coal... Jane, A diamond in God...
WHO JANE IS - A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH THAT GOD AND MARK FOUND BURIED IN THE COAL
http://janefairchildblog.blogspot.com/2011/09/who-jane-is-in-christ-and-through-eyes.html
Me, Jane, known as Janestree
janestree@aol.com
My WORTH is not found in people, things, fame, being recognized as being COOL above COOL; or being popular for others to want to follow (Groupies) but my WORTH is all held in GOD's heart of who I am in Him for you see because of what JESUS did for me and for you - This gave me all the WORTH I NEED in life....
Some of the most SHALLOW people I have met in life can be beautiful on the outside with great beauty... but be so very SHALLOW with things that matter in life...
The beauty and ways of this WORLD are so very shallow and when STORMS come these things will not matter - what matters is OUR DEPTH of ROOTS in GOD... as this will be what matters in the end especially when STORMS of life come our way (as they will.)
This TREE of janestree is still STANDING...
Standing next to the great RIVER OF GOD'S MERCY
and I want you to be able to STAND TOO through your own struggles in LIFE
Don't give up on yourself -
Don't listen to your thoughts that the only way out is through SUICIDE -
This is not the solution
If you think you cannot go forward in life - Don't give in but
GET HELP so you too will be able to STAND IN LIFE
YOUR LIFE IS WORTH LIVING
YOU ARE WORTH KNOWING IN THIS LIFE
STAND UP TO LIVE...
STRUGGLES OF LIFE CAN EITHER BREAK YOU OR
THEY CAN MAKE YOU STRONGER THROUGH YOUR
WEAKNESS...
ALLOW THE WINDS OF STRUGGLES IN LIFE TO RAISE
YOU UP TO STAND TALL AND STRONG
AND FOR YOUR ROOTS TO GROW DEEP TO HOLD YOU
IN LIFE SO THAT YOU CAN STAND
(Please listen to this sweet simple song called 'TREE')
Ephesians 6:13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
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