Here I am, Jane... Today, I belong to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Today, I live as HIS PRINCESS with HIS VALUE and HIS WORTH and I am HIS TREASURE.
Renewing our minds in Jesus Christ is a hard process... It is not easy and it does not come with a touch of a magical wand and 'zap' your mind is made new. It is a complete process of life. A process that any one of us will need to go through throughout our entire life on this earth. I call it the 'REFINING OF GOLD' life process... for you see the purest of GOLD goes through a process over and over again until the GOLD becomes PURE. But the hard part of this process is the HEAT that continues to go higher and higher so that all the JUNK held deep down inside of the heart and soul - floats up to the surface so that the GOLD MASTER will take off the OLD and the NEW is still in process as the heat goes up even further so that the heat digs into the deepest part of our hearts.... This process will NEVER END while we are living here on this earth.
Please take my hand as I take you through my journal pages of this process of life in my own life so that you may be encouraged to take steps to go through your own process of your thoughts and your soul so that the Lord can make you of HIS PUREST GOLD - A TREASURE TO GOD.
In order for you to understand the depth of my own process that I had to go through allow me to share how I looked at this process.... I call it 'DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL'... it is a deep process where the Lord allows you to go through a process of being REFINED AS GOLD that is dark, painful, and a process that brings great suffering of a person's soul... the journey of the soul from its bodily home to its union with God. The journey is called "The Dark Night", because darkness represents the hardships and difficulties the soul meets in detachment from the world and reaching the light of the union with the Creator
Let me give you a glimpse into this deep dark journey of my own Dark Night of my own soul. But it is only a glimpse as this NO LONGER is who I am for I am NEW IN CHRIST - but it is only to give you a glimpse of my deepest inner struggles....
Psalm 139: 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you
In August 1997 - my father and I went to visit my favorite two cousins who live on the original homesteaded farm in Nebraska. This place met peace to me and gave me a sense of being grounded and a sense of belonging. I felt safe with these two cousins. But this trip was not any ordinary trip but it was a planned trip. I was going to be confronting my father for life answers and I wanted my two cousins to be witnesses to this conversation of truth. It was during the heat of this one particular August day that my father and I had our first deep talk of my own life as a child. It was during this time that I confronted my father with great torrents of tears from my soul and pain of my anger that I had held in SILENCE all my life. I wanted answers no matter how hard it was to hear the truth - I wanted answers.
During this time of TRUTH - I learned that my mother had actually sought out to have an abortion as she became aware of being pregnant with me. She did not want me from the very beginning. My father shared that day that she even would purposely make herself fall down stairs in hopes that she would miscarry me and I could be flushed down the toilet.
I was stubborn even then and determined to hold on tight to wanting to be born. But today I realize that it was GOD's own hand that held me in place within my own mother's womb. The same HANDS that held me before this seed of 'Jane' was placed into my mother's womb... My Abba Father's Hands held me in place and I belonged to HIM.
Psalm 139: 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
This was the beginning of JANE... through my mother's womb as I fought to stay alive even within her own womb. When I was actually born I almost died from this womb. For you see, my father conveyed to me that I was doubled up (bent over) and I came out with my butt coming out first and the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. After I was born my mother refused to hold me and left me in the nurses care. When she went home she left me at the hospital and my father shared that he went back and got me and brought me back home.
My own mother refused to hold me and had nothing to do with me from the very beginning. I basically comforted, nurtured, and raised myself. My mother wanted NOTHING to do with me my entire life and she let me know it daily. She told me daily throughout my life these words 'I never wanted you from the beginning'... 'I hate you'... 'You don't belong to me'... 'I wish you had never survived or had been born'... 'I would have rather had 6 boys like your brother any day then another girl like you'... She also use to beat me over and over as a child. She would beat me when I did not 'dust' the furniture correctly or I slept in too long or I gave her a 'wrong look'... One of the ways that she would beat me down would be for her to throw me on the floor, then straddle me with her legs over me, and then take her fists and beat my head over and over and over. She then would scream at me these words 'If I see one tear fall from your eyes I will be you all the more'... I learned to 'die' inside and go completely SILENT. (The first time she beat me like this I had dusted her furniture wrong and she found dust on the furniture when she went back and examined it.)
One day when I was 16 years old, I had purchased a neighbor friend a record for her to enjoy. It was 'Raindrops keep falling on my head' ... It cost me $1.00 from my allowance. My mother heard about this gift I gave to this friend and she went over to this neighbors house, demanded for her to give back this record, and in front of this friend and me my mother busted the record in two and shouted at me 'you will never buy anyone else a gift except for me only or else I will punish you'... (One time when I was 20 years old - I sent my mother a beautiful arrangement of flowers just to be kind to her. When I stopped over to her house to see the flowers that I had sent her - the flowers were at the bottom of the garbage can as she had thrown this gift out.)
My father molested me as a small child growing up. He often slept with me in my bed instead of with my mother.
My only sibling, my brother, he too molested me and then he also raped me when I was 18 years old when he first got back from Vietnam War. At the time he raped me I became pregnant but I was engaged to a man at that time so I had convinced myself to blame it on this person rather than my own brother... but I ended up miscarrying this baby.
During this same time period I went to visit a girl friend at the first day of summer vacation from school. I went at the wrong time... As an older man that was super hard and gruff met me at her front door. He was celebrating with his two best friends as the day before he had just be released from Joliet State Prison after spending over 20 years for murder and he had just be released and he was celebrating. These men held me a knife point , tied me down, and gang raped me over and over throughout the day - mocking me and making sport of me as a 'deer' that had just been trapped. Finally toward the close of evening - the two men went to get some more beer to drink and the older man threw my clothes at me and told me 'get out of here while you can'... I ran out the door - but my greatest FEAR waited me ahead as I went home to my mother as I knew that I would be beaten for being gone all day. I kept everything in SILENCE - after all - my mother had trained me to keep everything in SILENCE and I was good a stuffing the pain deep down inside the darkness of my soul.
As this Music Video - called 'NEED YOU NOW' says 'Everyone has a story'... Well this is my own story, through my own windows of my soul.... through my own SILENCE....
Please listen to this song and you will understand my own heart and my own story. (See to right and play video).
Lyrics to this song:
Chorus:
MY OWN STORY
I married very young - not out of love for the person but to get out of my mother's house. This man abused me also. (I will refer to this person as Robby.) I also lost our baby as he threw me down the stairs one day as I was refusing to get an abortion. I started attending a church in searching for LOVE.. as this person also attended with me. But behind my back Robby had a sexual affair with a young girl from this church. Robby and this girl had convinced the Pastor of this church that I had committed adultery and because of this Robby was divorcing me. The Pastor ended up giving them marriage counseling as the Pastor believed their made up story (without ever asking me). I knew NOTHING. One day before Robby served me divorce papers - he came to where I worked with my car title in his hand from my bank. I had only one more payment left to finally own my new car. Robby convinced me that he had found me a newer and better car and was going to use my car as the down payment for the new car. I trusted Robby and signed my car title. But the car he purchased by using my car for the down payment was never intended for me at all - but he had given the new car to his girlfriend. I was left without a car. The very next day Robby had me served with divorce papers. This crushed my heart as I knew nothing.
Because of the actions by Robby and the Pastor of this church - this became my stumbling block... I spiraled out of control and started drinking heavily, and started taking drugs and partying all the time (Never doing this before.) I then met a man, called 'Wylie' that was part of the actual motorcycle Harley Davidson Gang called 'Sons of Silence'... My name became 'Snowflake'... This man along with Robby convincing me got me into prostitution. Wylie's own 1st cousin was Sammy and Sammy's father was the Deputy Sheriff of our area. Sammy was the biggest drug dealer in our area. Sammy taught me how to sell drugs over the CB Radio to the truck stops, and also deliver them, and then also make up bricks of supply. I started feeling 'HARD' inside and at the age of 22 years old I actually felt as though I was in my 80's and ready to die...
See video below about the 'Sons of Silence' and how the video describes them is exactly how I was living my own life after this.
As I was drenched from walking in this rain this one particular night - I knelt down on the ground and started weeping my eyes out and I shouted out 'If there truly is a GOD out there then rescue me out of this mess as here I am only 22 years old and I feel like I am over 80 and ready to die.
Help me'..That same night, I went home with a man but the next morning was different when I woke early. I sent this man away. I turned on a small little TV I had and an old Evangelist on TV named Rex Humbard was sharing about the MAN AT THE TOMBS being set free.... a Bound Man. I wanted that for my life too. I called an old former 'heroine drug friend' and now he was one of those 'JESUS FREAKS' and asked this friend to come by and pick me up for church. He was right there. This man drove the Sunday School bus for this church and had me stay with him all day. After he dropped off the last child from that bus and he parked this bus his main question to me was 'Jane, what are you looking for in life'... I started crying and said to him 'I just want to be truly loved and never hit again but truly loved'... He introduced me to this real LOVE and HIS name is JESUS... I embraced JESUS into my heart and my life, repented of my many sins and opened my heart to JESUS...
Now that you have had only a GLIMPSE of my life and I opened up this OLD CASKET to let you peep inside - now you need to see me TODAY of the NEW of who I am in Christ... For my LIFE is good as GOD has truly made all things GOOD FOR ME in life.
You see, soon after I accept Jesus into my life - On October 30, 1977 - I attended home church. I had known who is my husband now from years before and I always liked Mark but he was a JESUS FREAK and so pure and good that I doubted if he would ever have anything to do with someone as myself. But this one particular evening on October 30, 1977, his name kept coming into my heart. So I finally asked this group 'Does anyone here happen to know of a Mark Fairchild'...
To my surprises the response was 'Yes. He usually attends this group but is on call tonight at the Rescue Mission'... After the church time a young woman gave me Mark's phone number and encouraged me to call him.
The next day I called Mark and told Mark 'You probably do not remember me but you kept coming to my heart last evening and I was wondering if you would have time to talk to me about Jesus since I was new in Jesus'... Again to my surprise Mark responded very positive and invited me to the Rescue Mission to see him. This was October 31, 1977. I came through these doors at Home Sweet Home Rescue Mission on that night and Mark met me at the door.
Mark started sharing God's Word to me and teaching me. One day as I was volunteering at this mission, I prayed to the Lord and asked the Lord 'Lord God, if Mark is to love me would you love me through his heart toward me'... Immediately after praying this prayer - I got a knock on the door and when I opened the door it was Mark. Mark asked me 'Jane, were you just praying for me'... I was hesitant and said 'Yes, Why?'... Mark shared 'I could tell you had just prayed for me for when I was coming down the hall way I had this burst of warmth like sunshine go through my heart'... I remained SILENT.
November 1977 - I became very ill and was at death's door. I ended up in the Emergency Room of the Hospital and was paralyzed from the hips down and I had massive red blotches covering my entire body. At that time I weighed about 100 pounds. I had a temperature of 104. The Doctor (Lee) did emergency blood work and found out that I was in the very last stages of venereal diseases. I was in the final last stage of Gonorrhea. I had traces of Syphilis. I had full blown Chlamydia and Herpes... and on top of all this I had a full staff infection within my uterus. Doctor Lee told me that he was going to give me full treatments - where they take a 2 inch long needle full of penicillin and pump this penicillin into you for straight days... If the treatments did not work then Dr. Lee was scheduling me to have a complete blood transfusion by taking out all my old blood and replacing it all with new blood (which is dangerous). I was so scared. Mark stayed by my side this entire time and we constantly were praying. Prayer and the treatments worked.
December 26th, 1977 - as Mark and I were studying God's Word together in the Rescue Mission chapel - Mark then shared with me that he knew in his own heart that God wanted him to marry me and cover me and Mark asked me if I would become his bride. (Note: Mark was a virgin and was so straight with God - He was a righteous man of God.) Mark did not even 'LOVE' me at that time but Mark shared that God told him to marry me and he wanted to obey God. We prayed and set up our wedding day of February 18, 1978.
Three weeks before we married - 3 Pastors from this church that gave Robby and his girlfriend marriage counseling as Robby was divorcing me - wanted to meet with Mark. Mark had been an 'elder' in this same church. All 3 Pastors shared with Mark that they did not want Mark to marry me as I would not be 'right' for him in marriage. These Pastors had placed a LARGE LETTER 'A' across me and did not want me around.
At that time, Mark decided to fast and pray and Mark stayed away for a few days from me. I wanted Mark to make the right decision before God and told Mark that if he decided that God did not want him to marry me that I would be okay as I wanted him to only obey God in his life. After 3 days, I got a knock on the door and it was Mark and he shared with me that God asked him 'are you able to cast the first stone upon Jane'... 'what I (God) have put together - let no man take you under'... 'I have called you to marry her and cover her'... We married.
One week after we married - we went back to this same church - and the Pastor Secretary's husband wanted to speak to me privately. We went to a corner for him to talk to me. With his finger pointed at my face he shared to me 'I do not approve of this marriage of you to Mark. You are no good for Mark. How long will this one last before you ruin it?'... After he finished - I stood tall and with Mark walked into the church service... But I went into SILENCE (never telling anyone of my pain and my hurt).
Today, Mark and I have been married going toward 35 years. I have NEVER ruined Mark's life and God has made ALL THINGS NEW in our life together. Mark's and my calling in God has been Rescue Mission Ministry.
Mark and I have ministered in Rescue Mission Ministry for over 30 years and we reach out to the homeless/poor/street people within society. This ministry began originally in 1826 in Scotland. This ministry then traveled over to the nation of Australia (as this is where England sent all their criminals) and this ministry then traveled over to New York City and in 1872 at New York City Rescue Mission started. The founders were Maria and Jerry McAuley. Jerry had been an ex-convict and had been a part of the original gangs of NYC. Maria had been a prostitute and ran a brothel house. They repented and made Jesus their Lord. The prostitutes would attend church but were shunned. So Jerry and Maria brought 'church' to them inside the brothel houses. Every Sunday morning they would set up church services. The woman would come to know the Lord but had no where to go for shelter. So Jerry and Maria purchased a building and set up 24/7 shelter, food, clothing, and the GOOD NEWS OF JESUS for these broken women. All of us are BEAUTIFUL in HIM...
Here is the my most treasured song... But as you listen to the words of this song - read what I wrote as this is how I write...
Song: You're Beautiful in His eyes - by Mercy Me
Mark's family embraced me as their daughter and their own sister. The Lord gave me actual 'family' where I truly belonged. Just a brief history of Mark's own family:Mark's grandmother on his father's side was: Sarah Wolford Blackwell Fairchild (Blackwell) The 'WOLFORD' side of this family were from France and had been Royalty of France in the 1600's (we have paperwork to prove this.) (We have a crest from the Wolford Crest.) This family were Christian Believers. But during these 1600's time period in France, an up rise occurred and the family were persecuted and had to flee from France to not be killed.
When Grandmother Fairchild's family immigrated to America from France they had homesteaded land in New York City - at that time it was referred to as 'Blackwell Island' but this land was purchased out and now is referred to as "Roosevelt Island" and also part of "Manhattan Island" in NYC.
Dad 'Ross' Fairchild - his family all immigrated from England and on his father's side they have direct blood relation with royalty in England.
Danville Illinois was founded by the Fairchild family when they homesteaded land. The name Danville came from Daniel Fairchild (as it was named after him.) Grandfather Fairchild had been a Methodist Minister in Durango Colorado during the early 1920's and also ministered to the Navajo Reservation during those years.
He (Grandfather Fairchild) then became the CEO / Bank President in a large bank in Danville and when the Depression days came they of course LOST EVERYTHING. It is said that between Grandfather Fairchild and Grandmother Sarah Blackwell Fairchild - they were worth millions even during those days but because of the Depression they LOST everything...
We have 10 huge boxes of all this information in these boxes, including written materials that Dad 'Ross' Fairchild had written and submitted to the Heritage Magazine in the 1980's and 1990's. We also have a bound book from the Fairchild family genealogy history and records. Mark and I hope to someday go through everyone of these boxes and sort and file in order. Also Mark's great grandfather was the owner and operator of Hotel Wolford during the 1920's / 30's and many famous people had come to this hotel during those years.
As I share this I am reminded of the PLAY of the Man of LeMancha - where the 'rich' man of great wealth 'The Man of LeMancha' chose to marry a broken woman who had been a prostitute and he gave this woman all his wealth for he saw great worth, value, and a treasure within this woman.
This too is my own story of life... God, my Father - who is KING of Heaven and Earth, saw a great treasure within my own heart and so Abba Father gave me a true 'knight in shining armor' when God, My Abba Father brought Mark into my life. (Mark for me is like that of Boaz with Ruth as Boaz chose to marry Ruth and cover her shame.)
This is how JESUS has done for ALL of us - as He chose us and then HIS BLOOD COVERS OUR SHAME... and it is only through HIS BLOOD that I am given LIFE.
So think about how WONDERFUL AND GOOD GOD IS and has been to me in my life... How GOD placed Mark into my life?
Mark gave me a new name that he always felt was spoken by God toward me... It is CHOSEN TREASURE...
Chosen Treasure of Royalty
Where I gain encouragement from God's TRUTH and word is that Rehab (whom had been a prostitute written about in God's Word) she actually became the Great Grandmother of King David - and was a part of the blood line of Jesus... (Matthew Chapter 1)...
God always took the kick outs of society, the undesirables, and the broken, and brought us to HIM and HIS LOVE...
Matthew 22 The Parable of the Wedding Banquet
1 Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: 2 “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. 3 He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come. 4 “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ 5 “But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. 6 The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. 7 The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. 8 “Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. 9 So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ 10 So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. 11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 12 He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless. 13 “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”
God takes the bad and ugly of this world and makes them beautiful before Him and His glory.
A story I wrote (that I am continually changing and adjusting and rewriting) is the story of the diamond... read below
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Buried deep beneath the ugliness, darkness of the earth lays a rock, a small unidentified rock, no substance, nothing of beauty, but a plain ordinary simple ugly rock... but laying all around this small rock is the darkness, ugliness, filthiness of dark, cold, COAL... beneath the earth... As a small unidentified rock next to the coldness and darkness of this COAL - it feels like death covering.
LIFE is a hard process... and LIFE living amongst coal is a LIFE of death, darkness, coldness, filthyness...
COAL - dark, cold, black, filthy, messy and without form.
COAL in hands
This COAL buried deep underneath the ugliness, darkness of the earth next to this unidentified rock, with no substance and certainly nothing of beauty, but a plain ordinary simple rock...
The COAL covers this rock of no beauty... the COAL shifts back and forth with this rock in between - causing PRESSURE, RUBBING, and GREAT PAIN... sometimes the pain and pressure is unbearable in surviving beneath this darkness and coldness of a grave... but after years as this unformed unidentified ordinary rock lays hidden deep beneath the ugliness, darkness, and coldness of a grave of this coal - one day...
A man, a simple precious man, a man named Mark Fairchild, sees something laying amongst this coal and it is sparkling with many colors of the rainbow as the fullness of the SON shines down on this 'rock'.. Mark experiences a moment of blindness from the great SHINE that reflects buried beneath this coal. So Mark bends down to see where this brightness amongst the darkness is coming from buried beneath the coal...
Mark digs in further with his hands... for something is shining brightly from this black, coldness, and darkness. What is shining so brightly amongst this darkness and coldness of a grave within this coal, to actually blind this man?
Finally as Mark is digging deeper within the belly of the coldness of the coal, his hands now covered with blackness, he touches a rock and his fingers clench down around that rock... Mark pulls this rock up to the surface of the earth as the SON shines down upon this one CHOSEN ROCK within the clenches of Mark's fingers... as Mark opens his fingers - before him is the most beautiful rock that he has ever seen before...
Mark - the 'knight in shining armor' Jane - coal that became a CHOSEN TREASURE, a diamond from coal, and now a PRINCESS of GOD for eternity - earth and heaven (FOREVER a PRINCESS in JESUS)
Coal is dark, cold, filthy, and feels like inside a grave around coal buried beneath the earth
For this rock is a beautiful glowing DIAMOND...
This is what comes out from the pressures of the coal buried beneath the heaviness and darkness of the earth....
DIAMONDS
Not created by man's hands but created by the PRESSURE, DARKNESS, COLDNESS, PRESSURES, AND BEARING DOWN from life...
Mark looks down and sees this beautiful glowing DIAMOND in the palm of his hands...
Mark found a "CHOSEN TREASURE" from the depth of dirt, heaviness, pressure, filth, darkness, and coldness - and in the middle of all this was a "CHOSEN TREASURE"....
A DIAMOND in the hands of God...
A DIAMOND shining HIS GLORY all around...
A DIAMOND - A "CHOSEN TREASURE"
A "CHOSEN TREASURE" in the hands of God...
DIAMONDS - for a PRINCESS OF GOD... A ROYAL GENERATION, CHOSEN TREASURES OF GOD
Mark admires this work of the Masters Hands before him and says 'I will make her my bride'... and Mark becomes my true god-given 'knight in shining armour'...
As Mark's love saw the true JANE - the JANE that God sees... A DIAMOND sharing the GLORY of GOD from my heart...
From the simple rock hidden amongst coal comes a DIAMOND and the DIAMOND is transformed into ROYALTY of a PRINCESS.
Now GOD, Himself has given me that name "CHOSEN TREASURE" and I am His Diamond - reflecting his forgiveness, his love, and his mercy.... and He gave me my 'knight in shining armour' - Mark... I have the RICHES of GOD...
He took the ashes of my life and He made me BEAUTIFUL...
All because He loved me so much that He went to the cross and He died for me (and for you) and it is through His blood shed upon that cross that gives ME LIFE.... JESUS rescued my soul from DEATH of the grave and He made this ordinary simple rock buried in death amongst the coal - He made me a DIAMOND...
A "CHOSEN TREASURE" of God...
A "DIAMOND" of His worth and His glory...
Today, I, Jane Fairchild, and not only called a "CHOSEN TREASURE' but I also was given the last name of Fairchild.... for now I am a 'fair child that is running hard into the loving arms of my Heavenly Father'....
Please listen to the words of the song that I sent as they say it all within my own life in Him.
How does COAL become a DIAMOND
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-does-coal-become-a-diamond.html
Princess Diana - was the CHOSEN PRINCESS of this world... She was beautiful... But if she did not make JESUS HER LORD - she too, after dying from this earth, is within an eternity within HELL...
So on earth she was a TEMPORARAY PRINCESS of this world.
Princess Diana was an earthly princess but without JESUS - it would only be on this earth and not in heaven...
Simple beauty of an earthly princess...
A diamond on earth.
But for Jane, because I accepted and made JESUS AS MY LORD within my heart - as a CHOSEN TREASURE in God's hand - I am a PRINCESS in God's Kingdom FOREVER without end - both earth and heaven...
and I am married to my God-given 'KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR'
Knight Mark and Princess Jane "TOGETHER FOREVER" in Jesus
Married FOR ETERNITY in Christ Jesus
This is WHO I AM TODAY:
FROM THE DARKNESS OF MY SOUL - TO THE TRUE LIGHT OF LIFE;
FROM COAL BURIED BENEATH THE DIRT OF THIS EARTH - TO A DIAMOND
A CHOSEN TREASURE OF GOD THE FATHER....
I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10)
Renewing our minds in Jesus Christ is a hard process... It is not easy and it does not come with a touch of a magical wand and 'zap' your mind is made new. It is a complete process of life. A process that any one of us will need to go through throughout our entire life on this earth. I call it the 'REFINING OF GOLD' life process... for you see the purest of GOLD goes through a process over and over again until the GOLD becomes PURE. But the hard part of this process is the HEAT that continues to go higher and higher so that all the JUNK held deep down inside of the heart and soul - floats up to the surface so that the GOLD MASTER will take off the OLD and the NEW is still in process as the heat goes up even further so that the heat digs into the deepest part of our hearts.... This process will NEVER END while we are living here on this earth.
Please take my hand as I take you through my journal pages of this process of life in my own life so that you may be encouraged to take steps to go through your own process of your thoughts and your soul so that the Lord can make you of HIS PUREST GOLD - A TREASURE TO GOD.
In order for you to understand the depth of my own process that I had to go through allow me to share how I looked at this process.... I call it 'DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL'... it is a deep process where the Lord allows you to go through a process of being REFINED AS GOLD that is dark, painful, and a process that brings great suffering of a person's soul... the journey of the soul from its bodily home to its union with God. The journey is called "The Dark Night", because darkness represents the hardships and difficulties the soul meets in detachment from the world and reaching the light of the union with the Creator
Let me give you a glimpse into this deep dark journey of my own Dark Night of my own soul. But it is only a glimpse as this NO LONGER is who I am for I am NEW IN CHRIST - but it is only to give you a glimpse of my deepest inner struggles....
Psalm 139: 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you
In August 1997 - my father and I went to visit my favorite two cousins who live on the original homesteaded farm in Nebraska. This place met peace to me and gave me a sense of being grounded and a sense of belonging. I felt safe with these two cousins. But this trip was not any ordinary trip but it was a planned trip. I was going to be confronting my father for life answers and I wanted my two cousins to be witnesses to this conversation of truth. It was during the heat of this one particular August day that my father and I had our first deep talk of my own life as a child. It was during this time that I confronted my father with great torrents of tears from my soul and pain of my anger that I had held in SILENCE all my life. I wanted answers no matter how hard it was to hear the truth - I wanted answers.
During this time of TRUTH - I learned that my mother had actually sought out to have an abortion as she became aware of being pregnant with me. She did not want me from the very beginning. My father shared that day that she even would purposely make herself fall down stairs in hopes that she would miscarry me and I could be flushed down the toilet.
I was stubborn even then and determined to hold on tight to wanting to be born. But today I realize that it was GOD's own hand that held me in place within my own mother's womb. The same HANDS that held me before this seed of 'Jane' was placed into my mother's womb... My Abba Father's Hands held me in place and I belonged to HIM.
Psalm 139: 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
This was the beginning of JANE... through my mother's womb as I fought to stay alive even within her own womb. When I was actually born I almost died from this womb. For you see, my father conveyed to me that I was doubled up (bent over) and I came out with my butt coming out first and the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. After I was born my mother refused to hold me and left me in the nurses care. When she went home she left me at the hospital and my father shared that he went back and got me and brought me back home.
My own mother refused to hold me and had nothing to do with me from the very beginning. I basically comforted, nurtured, and raised myself. My mother wanted NOTHING to do with me my entire life and she let me know it daily. She told me daily throughout my life these words 'I never wanted you from the beginning'... 'I hate you'... 'You don't belong to me'... 'I wish you had never survived or had been born'... 'I would have rather had 6 boys like your brother any day then another girl like you'... She also use to beat me over and over as a child. She would beat me when I did not 'dust' the furniture correctly or I slept in too long or I gave her a 'wrong look'... One of the ways that she would beat me down would be for her to throw me on the floor, then straddle me with her legs over me, and then take her fists and beat my head over and over and over. She then would scream at me these words 'If I see one tear fall from your eyes I will be you all the more'... I learned to 'die' inside and go completely SILENT. (The first time she beat me like this I had dusted her furniture wrong and she found dust on the furniture when she went back and examined it.)
One day when I was 16 years old, I had purchased a neighbor friend a record for her to enjoy. It was 'Raindrops keep falling on my head' ... It cost me $1.00 from my allowance. My mother heard about this gift I gave to this friend and she went over to this neighbors house, demanded for her to give back this record, and in front of this friend and me my mother busted the record in two and shouted at me 'you will never buy anyone else a gift except for me only or else I will punish you'... (One time when I was 20 years old - I sent my mother a beautiful arrangement of flowers just to be kind to her. When I stopped over to her house to see the flowers that I had sent her - the flowers were at the bottom of the garbage can as she had thrown this gift out.)
My father molested me as a small child growing up. He often slept with me in my bed instead of with my mother.
My only sibling, my brother, he too molested me and then he also raped me when I was 18 years old when he first got back from Vietnam War. At the time he raped me I became pregnant but I was engaged to a man at that time so I had convinced myself to blame it on this person rather than my own brother... but I ended up miscarrying this baby.
During this same time period I went to visit a girl friend at the first day of summer vacation from school. I went at the wrong time... As an older man that was super hard and gruff met me at her front door. He was celebrating with his two best friends as the day before he had just be released from Joliet State Prison after spending over 20 years for murder and he had just be released and he was celebrating. These men held me a knife point , tied me down, and gang raped me over and over throughout the day - mocking me and making sport of me as a 'deer' that had just been trapped. Finally toward the close of evening - the two men went to get some more beer to drink and the older man threw my clothes at me and told me 'get out of here while you can'... I ran out the door - but my greatest FEAR waited me ahead as I went home to my mother as I knew that I would be beaten for being gone all day. I kept everything in SILENCE - after all - my mother had trained me to keep everything in SILENCE and I was good a stuffing the pain deep down inside the darkness of my soul.
I carried this SILENCE with me for most of my life... until one day this SILENCE broke open and then it became like that of a broken water valve and I could no longer shut it off... until the Lord Jesus helped me to RENEW my thinking and help me.
As this Music Video - called 'NEED YOU NOW' says 'Everyone has a story'... Well this is my own story, through my own windows of my soul.... through my own SILENCE....
Please listen to this song and you will understand my own heart and my own story. (See to right and play video).
Lyrics to this song:
Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
Chorus:
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
Chorus:
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.
Oh I walk, Oh I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh, I need you
God, I need you now
I need you now
MY OWN STORY
I married very young - not out of love for the person but to get out of my mother's house. This man abused me also. (I will refer to this person as Robby.) I also lost our baby as he threw me down the stairs one day as I was refusing to get an abortion. I started attending a church in searching for LOVE.. as this person also attended with me. But behind my back Robby had a sexual affair with a young girl from this church. Robby and this girl had convinced the Pastor of this church that I had committed adultery and because of this Robby was divorcing me. The Pastor ended up giving them marriage counseling as the Pastor believed their made up story (without ever asking me). I knew NOTHING. One day before Robby served me divorce papers - he came to where I worked with my car title in his hand from my bank. I had only one more payment left to finally own my new car. Robby convinced me that he had found me a newer and better car and was going to use my car as the down payment for the new car. I trusted Robby and signed my car title. But the car he purchased by using my car for the down payment was never intended for me at all - but he had given the new car to his girlfriend. I was left without a car. The very next day Robby had me served with divorce papers. This crushed my heart as I knew nothing.
Because of the actions by Robby and the Pastor of this church - this became my stumbling block... I spiraled out of control and started drinking heavily, and started taking drugs and partying all the time (Never doing this before.) I then met a man, called 'Wylie' that was part of the actual motorcycle Harley Davidson Gang called 'Sons of Silence'... My name became 'Snowflake'... This man along with Robby convincing me got me into prostitution. Wylie's own 1st cousin was Sammy and Sammy's father was the Deputy Sheriff of our area. Sammy was the biggest drug dealer in our area. Sammy taught me how to sell drugs over the CB Radio to the truck stops, and also deliver them, and then also make up bricks of supply. I started feeling 'HARD' inside and at the age of 22 years old I actually felt as though I was in my 80's and ready to die...
See video below about the 'Sons of Silence' and how the video describes them is exactly how I was living my own life after this.
I got into drugs, sex, and even got into prostitution for a season of my life... But my heart cried
I held everything in SILENCE as SILENCE was killing me.
One day in October 8, 1977 - I was going to the Red Lion Inn Saloon that I picked up men and it was pouring down rain. At that time I weighed about 100 pounds...
One day in October 8, 1977 - I was going to the Red Lion Inn Saloon that I picked up men and it was pouring down rain. At that time I weighed about 100 pounds...
As I was drenched from walking in this rain this one particular night - I knelt down on the ground and started weeping my eyes out and I shouted out 'If there truly is a GOD out there then rescue me out of this mess as here I am only 22 years old and I feel like I am over 80 and ready to die. Help me'..That same night, I went home with a man but the next morning was different when I woke early. I sent this man away. I turned on a small little TV I had and an old Evangelist on TV named Rex Humbard was sharing about the MAN AT THE TOMBS being set free.... a Bound Man. I wanted that for my life too. I called an old former 'heroine drug friend' and now he was one of those 'JESUS FREAKS' and asked this friend to come by and pick me up for church. He was right there. This man drove the Sunday School bus for this church and had me stay with him all day. After he dropped off the last child from that bus and he parked this bus his main question to me was 'Jane, what are you looking for in life'... I started crying and said to him 'I just want to be truly loved and never hit again but truly loved'... He introduced me to this real LOVE and HIS name is JESUS... I embraced JESUS into my heart and my life, repented of my many sins and opened my heart to JESUS...
This was October 9, 1977 - when I, as the man at the tombs, was restored and was given a gift of FREEDOM within my soul.
Now that you have had only a GLIMPSE of my life and I opened up this OLD CASKET to let you peep inside - now you need to see me TODAY of the NEW of who I am in Christ... For my LIFE is good as GOD has truly made all things GOOD FOR ME in life.
You see, soon after I accept Jesus into my life - On October 30, 1977 - I attended home church. I had known who is my husband now from years before and I always liked Mark but he was a JESUS FREAK and so pure and good that I doubted if he would ever have anything to do with someone as myself. But this one particular evening on October 30, 1977, his name kept coming into my heart. So I finally asked this group 'Does anyone here happen to know of a Mark Fairchild'...
To my surprises the response was 'Yes. He usually attends this group but is on call tonight at the Rescue Mission'... After the church time a young woman gave me Mark's phone number and encouraged me to call him.
The next day I called Mark and told Mark 'You probably do not remember me but you kept coming to my heart last evening and I was wondering if you would have time to talk to me about Jesus since I was new in Jesus'... Again to my surprise Mark responded very positive and invited me to the Rescue Mission to see him. This was October 31, 1977. I came through these doors at Home Sweet Home Rescue Mission on that night and Mark met me at the door.
Mark started sharing God's Word to me and teaching me. One day as I was volunteering at this mission, I prayed to the Lord and asked the Lord 'Lord God, if Mark is to love me would you love me through his heart toward me'... Immediately after praying this prayer - I got a knock on the door and when I opened the door it was Mark. Mark asked me 'Jane, were you just praying for me'... I was hesitant and said 'Yes, Why?'... Mark shared 'I could tell you had just prayed for me for when I was coming down the hall way I had this burst of warmth like sunshine go through my heart'... I remained SILENT.
November 1977 - I became very ill and was at death's door. I ended up in the Emergency Room of the Hospital and was paralyzed from the hips down and I had massive red blotches covering my entire body. At that time I weighed about 100 pounds. I had a temperature of 104. The Doctor (Lee) did emergency blood work and found out that I was in the very last stages of venereal diseases. I was in the final last stage of Gonorrhea. I had traces of Syphilis. I had full blown Chlamydia and Herpes... and on top of all this I had a full staff infection within my uterus. Doctor Lee told me that he was going to give me full treatments - where they take a 2 inch long needle full of penicillin and pump this penicillin into you for straight days... If the treatments did not work then Dr. Lee was scheduling me to have a complete blood transfusion by taking out all my old blood and replacing it all with new blood (which is dangerous). I was so scared. Mark stayed by my side this entire time and we constantly were praying. Prayer and the treatments worked.
December 26th, 1977 - as Mark and I were studying God's Word together in the Rescue Mission chapel - Mark then shared with me that he knew in his own heart that God wanted him to marry me and cover me and Mark asked me if I would become his bride. (Note: Mark was a virgin and was so straight with God - He was a righteous man of God.) Mark did not even 'LOVE' me at that time but Mark shared that God told him to marry me and he wanted to obey God. We prayed and set up our wedding day of February 18, 1978.
Three weeks before we married - 3 Pastors from this church that gave Robby and his girlfriend marriage counseling as Robby was divorcing me - wanted to meet with Mark. Mark had been an 'elder' in this same church. All 3 Pastors shared with Mark that they did not want Mark to marry me as I would not be 'right' for him in marriage. These Pastors had placed a LARGE LETTER 'A' across me and did not want me around.
At that time, Mark decided to fast and pray and Mark stayed away for a few days from me. I wanted Mark to make the right decision before God and told Mark that if he decided that God did not want him to marry me that I would be okay as I wanted him to only obey God in his life. After 3 days, I got a knock on the door and it was Mark and he shared with me that God asked him 'are you able to cast the first stone upon Jane'... 'what I (God) have put together - let no man take you under'... 'I have called you to marry her and cover her'... We married.
One week after we married - we went back to this same church - and the Pastor Secretary's husband wanted to speak to me privately. We went to a corner for him to talk to me. With his finger pointed at my face he shared to me 'I do not approve of this marriage of you to Mark. You are no good for Mark. How long will this one last before you ruin it?'... After he finished - I stood tall and with Mark walked into the church service... But I went into SILENCE (never telling anyone of my pain and my hurt).
Today, Mark and I have been married going toward 35 years. I have NEVER ruined Mark's life and God has made ALL THINGS NEW in our life together. Mark's and my calling in God has been Rescue Mission Ministry.
Mark and I have ministered in Rescue Mission Ministry for over 30 years and we reach out to the homeless/poor/street people within society. This ministry began originally in 1826 in Scotland. This ministry then traveled over to the nation of Australia (as this is where England sent all their criminals) and this ministry then traveled over to New York City and in 1872 at New York City Rescue Mission started. The founders were Maria and Jerry McAuley. Jerry had been an ex-convict and had been a part of the original gangs of NYC. Maria had been a prostitute and ran a brothel house. They repented and made Jesus their Lord. The prostitutes would attend church but were shunned. So Jerry and Maria brought 'church' to them inside the brothel houses. Every Sunday morning they would set up church services. The woman would come to know the Lord but had no where to go for shelter. So Jerry and Maria purchased a building and set up 24/7 shelter, food, clothing, and the GOOD NEWS OF JESUS for these broken women. All of us are BEAUTIFUL in HIM...
Here is the my most treasured song... But as you listen to the words of this song - read what I wrote as this is how I write...
Song: You're Beautiful in His eyes - by Mercy Me
Mark's family embraced me as their daughter and their own sister. The Lord gave me actual 'family' where I truly belonged. Just a brief history of Mark's own family:Mark's grandmother on his father's side was: Sarah Wolford Blackwell Fairchild (Blackwell) The 'WOLFORD' side of this family were from France and had been Royalty of France in the 1600's (we have paperwork to prove this.) (We have a crest from the Wolford Crest.) This family were Christian Believers. But during these 1600's time period in France, an up rise occurred and the family were persecuted and had to flee from France to not be killed.
When Grandmother Fairchild's family immigrated to America from France they had homesteaded land in New York City - at that time it was referred to as 'Blackwell Island' but this land was purchased out and now is referred to as "Roosevelt Island" and also part of "Manhattan Island" in NYC.
Dad 'Ross' Fairchild - his family all immigrated from England and on his father's side they have direct blood relation with royalty in England.
Danville Illinois was founded by the Fairchild family when they homesteaded land. The name Danville came from Daniel Fairchild (as it was named after him.) Grandfather Fairchild had been a Methodist Minister in Durango Colorado during the early 1920's and also ministered to the Navajo Reservation during those years.
He (Grandfather Fairchild) then became the CEO / Bank President in a large bank in Danville and when the Depression days came they of course LOST EVERYTHING. It is said that between Grandfather Fairchild and Grandmother Sarah Blackwell Fairchild - they were worth millions even during those days but because of the Depression they LOST everything...
We have 10 huge boxes of all this information in these boxes, including written materials that Dad 'Ross' Fairchild had written and submitted to the Heritage Magazine in the 1980's and 1990's. We also have a bound book from the Fairchild family genealogy history and records. Mark and I hope to someday go through everyone of these boxes and sort and file in order. Also Mark's great grandfather was the owner and operator of Hotel Wolford during the 1920's / 30's and many famous people had come to this hotel during those years.
As I share this I am reminded of the PLAY of the Man of LeMancha - where the 'rich' man of great wealth 'The Man of LeMancha' chose to marry a broken woman who had been a prostitute and he gave this woman all his wealth for he saw great worth, value, and a treasure within this woman.
This too is my own story of life... God, my Father - who is KING of Heaven and Earth, saw a great treasure within my own heart and so Abba Father gave me a true 'knight in shining armor' when God, My Abba Father brought Mark into my life. (Mark for me is like that of Boaz with Ruth as Boaz chose to marry Ruth and cover her shame.)
This is how JESUS has done for ALL of us - as He chose us and then HIS BLOOD COVERS OUR SHAME... and it is only through HIS BLOOD that I am given LIFE.
So think about how WONDERFUL AND GOOD GOD IS and has been to me in my life... How GOD placed Mark into my life?
Mark gave me a new name that he always felt was spoken by God toward me... It is CHOSEN TREASURE...Chosen Treasure of Royalty
Where I gain encouragement from God's TRUTH and word is that Rehab (whom had been a prostitute written about in God's Word) she actually became the Great Grandmother of King David - and was a part of the blood line of Jesus... (Matthew Chapter 1)...
God always took the kick outs of society, the undesirables, and the broken, and brought us to HIM and HIS LOVE...
Matthew 22 The Parable of the Wedding Banquet
1 Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: 2 “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. 3 He sent his servants to those who had been invited to the banquet to tell them to come, but they refused to come. 4 “Then he sent some more servants and said, ‘Tell those who have been invited that I have prepared my dinner: My oxen and fattened cattle have been butchered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet.’ 5 “But they paid no attention and went off—one to his field, another to his business. 6 The rest seized his servants, mistreated them and killed them. 7 The king was enraged. He sent his army and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. 8 “Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding banquet is ready, but those I invited did not deserve to come. 9 So go to the street corners and invite to the banquet anyone you find.’ 10 So the servants went out into the streets and gathered all the people they could find, the bad as well as the good, and the wedding hall was filled with guests. 11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 12 He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless. 13 “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”
God takes the bad and ugly of this world and makes them beautiful before Him and His glory.
A story I wrote (that I am continually changing and adjusting and rewriting) is the story of the diamond... read below
________________________________________________
Buried deep beneath the ugliness, darkness of the earth lays a rock, a small unidentified rock, no substance, nothing of beauty, but a plain ordinary simple ugly rock... but laying all around this small rock is the darkness, ugliness, filthiness of dark, cold, COAL... beneath the earth... As a small unidentified rock next to the coldness and darkness of this COAL - it feels like death covering.
LIFE is a hard process... and LIFE living amongst coal is a LIFE of death, darkness, coldness, filthyness...COAL - dark, cold, black, filthy, messy and without form.
COAL in hands
This COAL buried deep underneath the ugliness, darkness of the earth next to this unidentified rock, with no substance and certainly nothing of beauty, but a plain ordinary simple rock...
The COAL covers this rock of no beauty... the COAL shifts back and forth with this rock in between - causing PRESSURE, RUBBING, and GREAT PAIN... sometimes the pain and pressure is unbearable in surviving beneath this darkness and coldness of a grave... but after years as this unformed unidentified ordinary rock lays hidden deep beneath the ugliness, darkness, and coldness of a grave of this coal - one day...
A man, a simple precious man, a man named Mark Fairchild, sees something laying amongst this coal and it is sparkling with many colors of the rainbow as the fullness of the SON shines down on this 'rock'.. Mark experiences a moment of blindness from the great SHINE that reflects buried beneath this coal. So Mark bends down to see where this brightness amongst the darkness is coming from buried beneath the coal...
Mark digs in further with his hands... for something is shining brightly from this black, coldness, and darkness. What is shining so brightly amongst this darkness and coldness of a grave within this coal, to actually blind this man?Finally as Mark is digging deeper within the belly of the coldness of the coal, his hands now covered with blackness, he touches a rock and his fingers clench down around that rock... Mark pulls this rock up to the surface of the earth as the SON shines down upon this one CHOSEN ROCK within the clenches of Mark's fingers... as Mark opens his fingers - before him is the most beautiful rock that he has ever seen before...
Mark - the 'knight in shining armor' Jane - coal that became a CHOSEN TREASURE, a diamond from coal, and now a PRINCESS of GOD for eternity - earth and heaven (FOREVER a PRINCESS in JESUS)
Coal is dark, cold, filthy, and feels like inside a grave around coal buried beneath the earth
For this rock is a beautiful glowing DIAMOND...This is what comes out from the pressures of the coal buried beneath the heaviness and darkness of the earth....
DIAMONDS
Not created by man's hands but created by the PRESSURE, DARKNESS, COLDNESS, PRESSURES, AND BEARING DOWN from life...
Mark looks down and sees this beautiful glowing DIAMOND in the palm of his hands...
Mark found a "CHOSEN TREASURE" from the depth of dirt, heaviness, pressure, filth, darkness, and coldness - and in the middle of all this was a "CHOSEN TREASURE"....
A DIAMOND in the hands of God...
A DIAMOND shining HIS GLORY all around...
A DIAMOND - A "CHOSEN TREASURE"
A "CHOSEN TREASURE" in the hands of God...
DIAMONDS - for a PRINCESS OF GOD... A ROYAL GENERATION, CHOSEN TREASURES OF GOD
Mark admires this work of the Masters Hands before him and says 'I will make her my bride'... and Mark becomes my true god-given 'knight in shining armour'...
As Mark's love saw the true JANE - the JANE that God sees... A DIAMOND sharing the GLORY of GOD from my heart...
From the simple rock hidden amongst coal comes a DIAMOND and the DIAMOND is transformed into ROYALTY of a PRINCESS.
Now GOD, Himself has given me that name "CHOSEN TREASURE" and I am His Diamond - reflecting his forgiveness, his love, and his mercy.... and He gave me my 'knight in shining armour' - Mark... I have the RICHES of GOD...
He took the ashes of my life and He made me BEAUTIFUL...
All because He loved me so much that He went to the cross and He died for me (and for you) and it is through His blood shed upon that cross that gives ME LIFE.... JESUS rescued my soul from DEATH of the grave and He made this ordinary simple rock buried in death amongst the coal - He made me a DIAMOND...
A "CHOSEN TREASURE" of God...
A "DIAMOND" of His worth and His glory...
Today, I, Jane Fairchild, and not only called a "CHOSEN TREASURE' but I also was given the last name of Fairchild.... for now I am a 'fair child that is running hard into the loving arms of my Heavenly Father'....
Please listen to the words of the song that I sent as they say it all within my own life in Him.
How does COAL become a DIAMOND
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-does-coal-become-a-diamond.html
Princess Diana - was the CHOSEN PRINCESS of this world... She was beautiful... But if she did not make JESUS HER LORD - she too, after dying from this earth, is within an eternity within HELL...So on earth she was a TEMPORARAY PRINCESS of this world.
Princess Diana was an earthly princess but without JESUS - it would only be on this earth and not in heaven...
Simple beauty of an earthly princess...
A diamond on earth.
But for Jane, because I accepted and made JESUS AS MY LORD within my heart - as a CHOSEN TREASURE in God's hand - I am a PRINCESS in God's Kingdom FOREVER without end - both earth and heaven...
and I am married to my God-given 'KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR'
Knight Mark and Princess Jane "TOGETHER FOREVER" in Jesus
Married FOR ETERNITY in Christ Jesus
THE PROOF OF YOUR LOVE - by For King & Country
(Office Music Video)
This is WHO I AM TODAY:
FROM THE DARKNESS OF MY SOUL - TO THE TRUE LIGHT OF LIFE;
FROM COAL BURIED BENEATH THE DIRT OF THIS EARTH - TO A DIAMOND
A CHOSEN TREASURE OF GOD THE FATHER....
I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10)
I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).
I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).
I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).
I am holy and without blame before Him in love (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16).
I have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16; Philippians 2:5).
I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17).
I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17-18).
I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17-18; Luke 10:17-19).
I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9-10).
I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38).
I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16).
I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13).
I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9).
I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (1 Peter 1:23).
I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10).
I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I am a spirit being alive to God (Romans 6:11;1 Thessalonians 5:23).
I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (2 Corinthians 4:4).
I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25).
I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17).
I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37).
I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11).
I am a partaker of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:3-4).
I am an ambassador for Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20).
I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (1 Peter 2:9).
I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).
I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (1 Corinthians 6:19).
I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13).
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14).
I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12).
I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7).
I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13).
I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Deuteronomy 28:15-68; Galatians 3:13).
I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7).
I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (Psalm 66:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).
I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (Isaiah 53:5; 1 Peter 2:24).
I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6; Colossians 2:12).
I am greatly loved by God (Romans 1:7; Ephesians 2:4; Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4).
I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11).
I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7).
I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14).
For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20).
